Of Lions And Llamas
by Scrump10
Summary: Phil feels alone, Dan has been spending less and less time with him and again is out at another party ( At least that is what Phil thinks) This story contains attempted suicide and depressing themes..


_Of Lions And Llamas _

(PHILS POV)

I staggered through the forest, leaves crunching softly beneath my feet. A fox, who had a rabbit dangling helplessly out of it's mouth, crept silently back to the security of its cosy den.

The night was cold and a strong bitter wind slapped me across the face like a bully from school. I whimpered my voice getting lost in the black night, a stray tear crawled down my face I was alone, I was always alone...

Dan had gone out again, to some party, it was always some party, some girl, something better than gaming with me! He didn't even bother to say goodbye this time... He just went.

I tottered down towards towards the lake where me and Dan had first discussed our dreams of becoming famous on youtube, of course at the time we would have been crazy to think it would literally come true. This fame we have though, its not it cracks up to be. Every day Dan comes home with a different girl, each one more beautiful and perfect than the last.

I crumpled to the floor and sobbed, sobbed aloud, sobbed harder than I ever had in my life. " Why can't you see!" I yelled furiously at the air, rain droplets hitting my already tear stained face. " I love you Daniel Howell, you will never feel the same." My voice cracked as I whispered "You will leave me, find a place of your own and the worst part of all not look back once..."

Life wasn't fair, I wasn't a bad person was I? But the voice in my head whispered mockingly " Who are you kidding Philip? You are a bad person, what good person loves their best friend?"

I was confused, my mind telling me one thing my head telling me another, I glanced over at the murky depth of the lake, it was no longer glistening with hope, and rather like me had lost its sparkle and magic. After all, the only thing hope was good for was setting you up for dissapointment.

The waters seemed to call to me, luring me in like a mouse to a trap, they whispered softly " shhh shhh, don't cry, I understand, there is an easy way to end it all." I grasped the reeds at the side of the lake and dragged my exhausted body closer to the edge repeating in my head, " You mean nothing to him, he will never love you, you mean nothing to him, he will never love you." I sucked in a breath searching my mind desperately for a way out, a way to walk away back home. Unfortunately I found none, I was a failure, my life was not worth living and more importantly I had nobody to live for.

With these thoughts in my mind I plunged my body into the ice cold water, I spluttered, my breath already faltering from the cold. I let my body sink like a stone, my lungs screamed for air, but my mind was calm it was peaceful down here. I tried desperately to breath but all I felt was a searing pain as water began to fill my lungs. I became weaker my eyes closing slowly and i was aware of nothing, it was a quiet so peaceful and trouble free I would be glad for it to end like this.

I saw somebody jump into the water beside me,I was that weak and unaware of my surroundings that I could not make out their face. The persons arms wrapped tightly around my waist as they frantically hauled me up towards the waters surface.

It was only then that I saw the mans face briefly, it was Dan. Desperately I cried out "Dan let go, leave me. I don't want to carry on anymore!" My speech was interrupted by the need to throw up the water. Dan rubbed my back soothingly as I coughed and spluttered. " I don't understand Phil, why would you want to die?" "Because.." I started but didn't finish, "It doesnt matter." Dan looked at me his chocolate brown eyes trying to seek out the truth. "Please Phil." he whispered. "Tell me and I can help you, I will do anything Phil, anything in the world."

I sobbed gently into his shirt,"Dan... If I tell you promise not to leave me." Dan looked me in the eyes and said simply " I will never leave you." I took a last deep breath composing myself and whispered " I love you Dan."

Immediately I bowed my head, wishing I could take back my words and keep my secret to myself. Dan sat there looking shocked, It felt like ages. Just sitting there waiting for the inevitable, the shout, the get away from me, the slap.. But nothing came. Just a silence so complete that it filled the night, eventually Dan moved to face me. He said "Phil look at me."

I lifted my head ever so slightly and all of a sudden Dan's lips were on mine, It was a quick kiss but in that second so many emotions flooded through my head and the butterflys in gut were undeniable, it felt right. It felt exactly how a kiss should.

"I love you Phil." Dan whispered. " I always have, I didnt think you would feel the same, so all the girls." He paused taking a deep breath. " I used them to distract myself from you... How could I properly love them when all along I had been helplessly in love with you, Philip Lester."

I sat shocked at Dan's confession. Dan Howell loved me. I grinned laughing gently before slamming my lips against his...

I suppose this is where this story ends, On a cold night with us sitting kissing beside a lake under the shining stars ... I got my boy, I have everything. They did always say that the lion eventually fell in love with the lamb, This was true, although we do prefer to say that the lion fell in love with the llama. Everybody deserves a happy ending, and well, this is ours...

Thanks for reading everyone. This story took a longggggg time to write ( Approx 7 hours) so feedback would be great, things i could improve on would also be amazing as I always push to make each story better than the last... Hope you enjoyed it ~ Scrump10


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